This page in The Joffa Journals details how an unexpected gift from a stranger became a powerful, lifelong anchor against feelings of being left out.
When I was a kid, I went through periods where I felt like I wasn’t as important as my older sister and younger brother because our granny favored them. My granny treated the others like they were special, and I felt left out a lot. As if that wasn’t enough, I spent a lot of time sick.
There was one day my mom took my sister, brother, and me to a school carnival. I remember we had fun playing the games, even when we lost. Back then, we didn’t have a car, so we either walked everywhere or took the bus.
On that particular day, we had to walk a few blocks, and I was upset. My sister and brother had both managed to win prizes, and I had not. My sister, at times, would rub it in my face when she was treated specially or got extras. On this day, my sister was flaunting a new stuffed animal that I wanted, but she had won. I walked home and I was upset, even with our mom telling my sister to stop rubbing it in and trying to cheer me up, when we were approached by a man.
Now, my mom was always protective—as a single mom, she had to be—but he spoke to her and she let him come to the three of us. He said that he had this teddy bear sitting on a swing, and he wanted to give it to someone because he had no need of it anymore as his mom had passed away. My first thought was that it would go to my sister. Instead, he looked at me, crouched down, and said he wanted me to have it because I reminded him of his mom.
I was grateful; I loved the bear and thanked him nicely. For twenty-three years, this bear has hung above my bed. The lace has yellowed with age, and the lavender ribbon is no longer as vibrant, but I love the bear as much now as I did back then. Every time we moved, one of the first things I did in our new house was to hang my bear up at the head of my bed. This bear is a reminder that the best gifts are not the ones that we ask for or expect; they’re the ones that arrive out of nowhere and remind us years later that someone, at some point, thought of us.
For me, my bear is a reminder that I mattered and that even in the dark moments, there’s kindness to be found in the world. A man had lost his mother, and he gave a gift to a child who reminded him of her. My bear has reminded me that there’s always some bit of kindness in the world, no matter how small it seems or how dark the day. It can come in any shape or form and you may never see it coming.
Katie Lee lives in Mosheim, Tennessee. She is an avid reader, an artist and a caretaker for her mom.
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